Keeping a secret

  

Today I’ve managed to have moments of up to five minutes when I haven’t thought ‘I’m pregnant’. Every time I’m reminded I want to tell anyone near me. At the end of the day I head to the gym for a body pump session, my personal trainer is taking the class, she’s the first person I get to tell. We’d already talked about how my training would change if I became pregnant, she’s brilliant and knows exactly what I can and can’t do. I normally work out four or five times a week and I don’t want that to change.

A new day

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Yesterday I was 150% sure that I wasn’t pregnant. I enjoyed wine with lunch and felt totally carefree about having another glass on the train home from Birmingham. By 4:30am this morning a strange thought was eating away at my rationale and I had started to convince myself that in fact I was pregnant. At 5:00am I woke my husband saying that we had to do a pregnancy test. Within two minutes I had seen the egg timer change to pregnant and I was in a state of shock. My husband excitedly put his arms around me as I began to cry. I felt so guilty for yesterday’s two glasses of wine and wondered how deprived i’d feel all summer without another glass. It took about 20 minutes for it all to sink in and I was now feeling ecstatic and prepared to be the perfect mother to be. My husband went back to sleep as I downloaded the Pregnancy+ app and googled hundreds of pregnancy questions. I went to work with a huge smile on my face and couldn’t get rid of it all day.